glad you’re back there with JT. you seemed so down over here. i didn’t really know what to do.. anywho. hope you two are having fun. :) kisses from Jahlia
No, I had fun the whole time! I wasn’t really down, I just took the time to think. Hence, I smoked way too damn much because it was stressing me out. I still don’t know what I want to do now. Moving seems like such a good thing to do, especially if your brother would be able to get me in. But then again, idk if I’m ready to officially leave Seattle. I’ve got JT, and my girls, Joanna, Gelly and Ana, and Jayme would die without me here, and Sheri needs help with Laila, and my crew is just starting to get out there, and I can’t imagine dancing with another group of people. Giving all that up to have a clean slate and be happy, that’d be amazing. But I’m just not sure what to do even after two weeks of vacation to relax and try to figure things out. -__- Honestly, I’m just scared. Scared of if I stay, things are going to stay the same, and scared that if I move down, that I’ll lose everything, my dancing, ORING8, friends and now JT.
I've had a lot to think about over the past two weeks.
And I put myself 800 miles away from everything just to sit down and really get it out, and honestly, I don’t even know if it helped. I’m still confused. I mean, I have an idea of what I want to happen when I arrive back to Seattle, but everything is so unsure. I had a plan after graduation, and they completely sucked. I had the wrong motives, the wrong ideas and I don’t think I really had any morals or goals because I just wanted to have fun, and although I did, I guess I should have thought a little more on the long run side of things. I wish everything was simple, but it’s not; and that’s life. I have a few plans for the next few months, but it’s all tentative, and I don’t know how things are going to come out, but I do know I’ll be just fine. If I am back here in California in the near future, so be it, if I find myself situated in Seattle, cool; and if I find myself in SoCal, then I’ll be one happy son a beautiful woman (sorry, my momma’s no bitch ;]). But until I go home, I’m just gonna sleep on it….literally. Going to bed now! Got a flight to catch in 6 hours. Goodnight! -___-