As in, when the words “I’ll always be here for you” really end up meaning “I’ll be here when I feel like it.”
I’m tired of people taking my time for granted, because I love to give it. And I’m not just talking about my ex here, I’m talking about people in general. If you’re gonna be a friend, be one. If you want to try to be in my life, do it. Don’t just hit me up every now and then when you’re bored. I hate that, you don’t think that makes me feel unimportant? Sometimes I just feel like everyone’s last choice/resort. All I really want is to feel wanted, to be happy and to be someone’s number one.
And when you say fuck, are you referring to the act of sexual intercourse? Because if you are, I fuck hard, so you must be telling me that I’m hard and hella good huh? And thanks, everyone knows I’m gay, you think that phases me?
Especially when it comes to relationships. If you start to talk to me and lie about having a significant other, you better make damn sure I never find out. Cause once I do, begging me not to say anything is only going to make me speak a little louder. Partners deserve to know what shady shit goes on behind their back, especially when I felt a certain way for someone.
I hate that people think the two words cannot be used together without negative connotation. Most of the time, it’s Gays vs. Christians. But I know that no one person is more deserving of the mercy of God. To me, every one is on the same level when it comes to God, and that’s the top. We were all made in his image, no shape, color or sexuality comes between that. It kills me that people can say they’re so strong in their faith, yet turn their back on someone simply because of their choice of whom they love. No one is perfect, sin is inevitable, we all have it, we were born into it. After 18 years of staying in the closet, I felt so ashamed about they way I felt, I felt so undeserving after the life I knew I led, I couldn’t have felt so low of myself after seeing so much hate towards the gay community, and to be a member of both that community and the church, from what society and many people think, it’s unjust. I used to think, “Oh, God can’t love me. He doesn’t. I’m not good.” But let me ask you this, would Jesus turn his hand away from me if I were to tell him I was gay? He wouldn’t. And if your whole vision is to love the way Christ loves you, how can you not love everyone just the same? Yes, homosexuality is a sin, but so is lying, cheating, tattoos, cursing, shaving, adultery, drinking, smoking, disobedience, etc. So does that mean you turn away all guilty of those? If you did, there would be no church. It hurts that people will look past the fact that a man cheated on his wife, a teen skipped school or a woman can do drugs and they can still be accepted, but if you’re gay, you’re just bad all together.
Let me show you this: in Genesis Chapter 1, God created Heaven and Earth. In Chapter 2, he creates man. In Chapter 3, Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit and were thrown into sin. And the rest of the bible is all about God trying to get his people back to him. In just three chapters God lost his children and for the rest of the bible he tries to get his children to come back to him. Why am I pointing this out? Just to show that the devil works quick, and one of the devils best friends is hate. And to just sit there and throw hate at someone simply because they’re gay, that’s not right. I’m not perfect, I never will be, and neither will anyone else. I’m gay, I’m Christian and I’m proud to be both.